On the morning of the day of the apocalypse
Willy woke up
And made himself bacon and eggs and rye toast
He didn't usually eat bacon
But since today was such a special day
He figured, why not

Like most people these days
He had trouble keeping his food down
But that didn't stop Willy from eating
He enjoyed food too much

Willy went outside
He loved to breathe fresh air
But he went outside anyway
He headed across the street
To visit his good friend Bob 

When Willy got to Bob's house
He found that Bob
In utter dispair
Had shot himself in the head
Some people have no patience whatsoever
Willy proclaimed
Well, I'm not killing myself
I'm sticking it out

Today is such a special day
The last day of planet Earth
And I'm going to enjoy myself
Maybe today, I won't go to the health spa
Maybe I'll just hang out here
And drink all of Bob's beer

Or maybe when Bob's wife comes home
I'll take her our dancing
Yeah, that's it, dancing
I'm going home to get changed

Willy raced out the door and into the street
Not noticing the steamroller at the top of the hill
That came rolling down
And flattened Willy into a pancake
In less than five seconds

The world would have to end without Willy