I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time; it's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think
It's gonna get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk, and the next morning
I can't, for the life of me
Remember what I did with it

First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
so I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either 

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
Cuz for some reason, I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know
I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either

I was starting to get desperate 
I really don't like being without my penis
For too long, it makes me feel
Like less of a man
And I really hate having to sit down
Every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast

Then as I walked down Second Avenue
Toward's St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books
And other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
Next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it! 

I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks
But I talked him down to 17
I took it home, washed it off
And put it back on

I was happy again, complete
People sometimes tell me
I should get it permanently attached
But I don't know

Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis